Tuesday, January 11, 2011

How to Fight Fair

Dear Internet,

Sometimes you get your panties in a wad.  Steam comes out of your ears.  Your blood boils.  You spit nails.  Other times you have to deal with someone else's steam, or blood, or spit.  But you don't have to be uncouth when you find yourself foaming at the mouth.

Here are some rules I try to follow when there's heat under a collar:
  1. Everyone just really wants to be heard.  So, zip your lips, nod your head, and give it a go.  When you can hear what's under the screaming you're more likely to be nice.  And no one can resist you when you're being charming.
  2. But try not to scream.  Take a deep breath.  Walk around the block.  Punch a pillow.  And bring it down a decibel.  You're much more becoming when you aren't so red.
  3. Don't bring up that one time, when he did that one thing.  True ladies really do forgive and forget.  So just stick to the issue at hand.
  4. As much as you want to call him a good for nothing scoundrel no good can come of that.  Bite your tongue and keep your swear words to yourself.
  5. If you get stuck say-I feel....when.... or go for broke and offer up an I'm sorry for...
  6. Lastly, a well timed joke or cute observation can do wonders for the conversation.  But be careful about how you play this one, ladies.
What did I leave out?


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