Tuesday, September 28, 2010
We were a Contra
"I would say that if you really want to STOP knowing someone, you have to divorce him. Or her. Because this is what happened between me and my husband. I believe that we shocked each other by how swiftly we went from being the people who knew each other best in the world to being a pair of the most mutually incomprehensible strangers who ever lived." -Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love
I thought you would be the one who would know me best of all. It started out so right. Sunflowers. Microwaved ice cream. Kisses in all the right places. My favorite record on repeat. Vampire Weekend that month for us to fall in love to. The feeling "that you and I could tell each other everything."
But it turned out the superficial was all we could do. You were rigid and I was too flexible. I tripped you up when you tried walking all over me.
So it ended. And I wish I could say as quickly as it began. But you wanted to drag it out when all I wanted was for us to be through. Another contradiction for us two.
You became Band of Horses' Evening Kitchen on repeat. "You wasted my time." "I counted on you."
And I was angry about having to pick at my wounds. About having to drink too much wine and slur my speech. About forgetting you.
I said things I shouldn't have.
Hopefully, you did too.